Whispers in the Dark
The light above the server room door was the only red thing in the basement, and it pulsed at a rhythm slightly slower than a resting heart. Slow enough that you noticed. Slow enough that, after a few minutes, you started breathing with it whether you meant to or not.
Four boys were on the concrete floor when Jake came down the stairs. They weren't doing anything. That was the first thing worth knowing about them. In a place like St. Ignatius, where the day was carved into clean two-hour blocks of instruction by a machine the boys called The Educator, doing nothing was a kind of luxury, and you could tell which boys had figured that out. These four had. They sat in the way boys sit when no adult is watching and no adult is going to be watching for some calculable amount of time. Loose-spined. Legs out. One of them had taken his tie off and looped it around his wrist like a bracelet, which was the sort of small private rebellion that wouldn't have been worth the trouble two floors up.
Jake stayed on the bottom step a beat longer than he needed to. He had walked into this room with a destination in mind, the terminal on the far wall, and now there was geography between him and it. Lucas Jameson was the geography. Lucas was leaning against the nearest server tower. He was sixteen and had the kind of face that adults trusted on sight, which Jake had clocked as a useful fact about him roughly a year ago and had not revised since. He was talking, low and even, and the other three were leaning toward him the way you lean toward a fire when the room is cold. The west stairwell, Lucas was saying. After the bell, before the second hum. You've got about forty seconds where nobody's looking at the landing. We use that. We don't waste it.
We. Our. Jake noticed the pronouns the way other people notice weather. One of the boys laughed, too loud for the room, and Lucas didn't shush him but the laugh shortened itself anyway. That was the other useful fact about Lucas. He didn't have to ask for quiet. Jake stepped off the stair. He didn't look at the terminal. He looked at the floor, then at the cooling fans stacked along the south wall, then at a coil of orange cable somebody had left half-spooled by the door, the way you look at things when you want to seem like a person who has wandered into a room rather than a person who has come to a room. Barnes, Lucas said, without turning his head. The voice was warm. Pull up a piece of floor.
Jake did not pull up a piece of floor. He moved along the wall, past the cable, past the fans, taking the long way around the cluster of boys, and Lucas tracked him without seeming to track him. It was a particular skill. Jake had it too, in a quieter version, and he recognized it the way one left-handed person recognizes another across a crowded room. He stopped under the clock above the server rack because he needed a reason to stop, and the clock was as good as anything, and that was when he saw it. The clock had no hands.
Not broken hands. Not stuck hands. No hands. The face was clean and white and circular and entirely empty, the small holes at the center where the spindle would have gone undisturbed, like the clock had been hung that way on purpose by someone who had decided this room didn't need to know what time it was.
Jake held very still. He let his eyes move, slowly, the way you move them when you don't want anyone to notice you're cataloguing. The clock above the door. The clock over the breaker panel. The small round clock mounted on the support column by the stairs, the one he'd walked under and not looked at for three weeks running. All of them. Every face blank. Every spindle bare. He tried to remember a clock in this basement with hands on it and couldn't, and the not-remembering felt less like a gap and more like something that had been sanded smooth. He was still looking up when he felt Lucas looking at him.
He didn't turn. He walked, casually, the last six feet to the terminal. The screen was dark. He touched the keyboard and it woke, soft green, asking him for nothing yet, just waiting. He could feel the room behind him the way you feel a held breath. The four boys had not stopped talking, exactly, but the talk had thinned. Lucas had said something quiet and the others had laughed at the appropriate volume, and underneath that, Jake could feel the attention, steady as the red light over the door. He rested his fingers on the keys. He did not type. He looked at the cursor, blinking at its own rhythm, faster than the light, and he thought about the hands that weren't on the clocks, and he thought about three weeks of evenings spent counting the wrong things, and he closed the interface.
The screen went dark again. He stepped back from it. He turned, slowly, toward the room. Lucas was leaning against the server tower with his arms folded. He was smiling, a small, unhurried smile that arranged itself only at the mouth. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He had the patience of someone who had already decided he could afford to wait, and the smile said, plainly, that whatever Jake had just chosen not to do, Lucas had seen him not do it. The red light pulsed. The fans hummed. Above the server rack, the handless clock kept its perfect, indifferent time.
